“Hey Raz, what song best describes you right at this moment?”

Friend asked me that … answer?

Well right at this moment, Mr. Brownstone by Guns n’ Roses

“I used to do a little, but a little wouldn’t do, so the little got more and more.”

“I don’t worry ‘bout nothin’, cuz worrings a waste of my time.”

“Now I get up around whatever, I used to get up on time.”

Uh, otherwise, No Feelings by The Sex Pistols.

6 months ago  /  Notes

You people have GOT..

To stop calling me at 10am! I don’t even get up until 2, sometimes 3, and I sure as hell don’t fully wake up until atleast 4. Oh, and maybe just stop calling me completely. I’m a recluse.

XD

6 months ago  /  Notes

Questions, Answered

Lately I have had a lot of people messaging me asking two questions - my gender identification, and my sexuality.

Gender-

I am female. However, since I can remember, I have wanted to be male. I have always dressed the part, had all guy friends, teased girls, and my voice is even deeper then most girls (If you’ve seen my videos or know me IRL, you know what I’m talking about.)

To my friends, I have always been completely androgynous. I would have sleep overs with my female friends, I would smoke by the train tracks with my male friends. Though I found men attractive, I would do nothing to make myself appealing. I hardly showered, I wore mainly male clothes.

Though I crushed on guys I knew, I still would go home to watch porn, but avoided anything involving men. It didn’t make sense to me until I grew older and started to see woman as being attractive.

It wasn’t until I started smoking pot with a guy friend that I started to act almost strictly male. I tied my hair up in a way that made it look shorter then it already is, and started wearing hats, trying to imitate Izzy Stradlin’s look (peasant hat + medium length black hair = yes plz) I also wore sunglasses, leather jackets, and talked more and more in my natural low, mumbling voice instead of the higher voice I had developed to seem feminine.

I even went out walking with an old female friend, and got hit on by a stripper. The male lifestyle, for me, is liberating. You don’t have to try hard with your looks or what you wear. You can do things that, if a woman did it, would be heavily frowned upon. I could smoke, I could drink. I could be piss drunk and high as fuck and look cool. If I did this as a girl, people would mistake me for Ke$ha. I’d be a gutterslut. Stupid damn double standard.

Nowadays I have been identifying as neither really. Basically, you can see my as one or the other. Sometimes I feel like dressing like a girl, but more often then not I dress male. I am currently getting together with a band to play, and I want to go into that project as a male.

Sexuality-

I find both men and women attractive. I have, however, only had intimate encounters with guys. Mainly, they were with guy friends and it was kinda like ‘Eff it, lets kiss or something.’ kind of like how drunk guys might kiss each other. Bromance. :-D

My band-

So recently I met up with some old guy friends of mine in Columbus and we started a band, kinda. Basically they already had one but their guitarist ended up wanting to go to college and I happened to be there, with five years of guitar under my belt. Basically the and is HUGE secret project, we don’t want to advertise ourselves until we are 100% ready. But we just might have gigs coming up in C-bus. We all like the same shit, so that’s cool and all.

SilverPaw -

I haven’t done much with the pack because I’m just too busy. Sorry, but I honestly have no new updates with this one. I hope to hit some cons next year and maybe get a bigger following, which would be some motivation.

Well, I hope you enjoyed my first tumblr post! haha.

6 months ago  /  Notes